Probably the biggest opposition I hear to foster care is that they could never let the children go because they would get too attached. And it's true, the hardest part of foster care is getting attached to these sweet kids with the knowledge that someday, if the system works the way it should, they will leave. But, as I consider the school shootings that are becoming common-place these days, I realize children who have been born or adopted into our families are no more promised tomorrow than foster children.
I have no one leaving my home now. In fact, I now have four of my six children that I consider "permanent." Last night, I attended an event for our licensing agency and one of the board members saw me come in with my double stroller and three active preschoolers circling me and asked if they were all mine. I'm sure we looked like the circus had rolled into town! Now, my usual response to this question is a simple "yes" because I do see them as all mine. But, given the nature of the event I was attending, I qualified that with, "Yes, but some are permanent, and some are not." I think she understood what I was saying, at least I hope so.
While it is possible that either of my foster children could leave my home at any time, I don't focus on that in the day to day any more than I do with my adopted children. Because, quite honestly, any one of them could be taken from me at any moment as well. My thirteen year old son attends a homeschool co-op for some of his classes. My five year old son attends a public charter school. My five year old daughter (four months younger than my son which put her a school year behind) attends a private preschool. All of my children attend church with us, but in different classes. Just like the families that sent their children off to school one morning and that afternoon were unexpectedly planning their funerals the following day...or the countless parents who unexpectedly receive a fatal diagnosis from their child's doctor...or any number of other catastrophic things that could happen, I am not promised tomorrow with any of my children. I can do all I can to protect them...but I have no guarantee that any of them will be with me tomorrow.
So, why not take a chance to love a child who could leave? Why not answer the call to love on hurting babies, toddlers, children, and/or teens who need you? I'm not gonna say it's easy because it's not. Taking these children into your home disrupts your regular routine, affects the way people see you, and catapults you out of your comfort zone like nobody's business! But, seeing these kids bond to you and your family, learning to trust where trust had been broken, realizing that for the time they are in your home, these kids (and their parents, if they are willing) can discover what a loving family looks like...possibly breaking a cycle of abuse and/or neglect that goes back more generations than anyone can count...that's what makes this whole thing called foster care worthwhile! That's not to say everyone can be a foster parent...there are circumstances and family situations that make that impossible...but for the vast majority of us, it is a possibility! All you need to do is to open your heart and risk it getting hurt. It doesn't have to be forever...it could be just for a season. And you don't have to have six kids in your home, either! You can foster just one child at a time if that's what works best for your family! Becoming a foster parent won't change the world...but for the child or children in your home, you could change their whole world!
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