It's been said that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover or you could just miss out on an amazing story! The same could be said for foster children! Last night, a desperate plea went out to all licensed foster homes looking for a placement for a young teenage girl who was being released from a mental institution after being "baker acted" - a scary thought for even the bravest of foster parents! There's such a stigma attached to those who receive psychiatric and/or counseling services (whether they do that willingly or are forced into it due to some sort of intervention). No one thinks twice about someone with a heart condition going to see cardiologist or a cancer patient going to an oncologist. These are expected, and even encouraged! But, if someone mentions that they are depressed or having irrational thoughts, they are told to just get over it. You'd never tell someone suffering a heart attack to stop being so dramatic or a cancer patient to just think well thoughts. You'd tell them to seek out medical professionals that could actually help them...and you would rally around them to help in any way you could!
On the other hand, if someone is actually brave enough not only to admit that they are experiencing depression or irrational thoughts, but actually seek medical intervention to help them, they are told they are crazy and people back off...which is why so many people who actually need help fight against it! The thought of someone having a mental disorder makes us all take pause...yes, even me. My response to the the text last night was that we had no bed space and I felt an immediate sense of relief...and guilt, as I sent that message! It was true that we didn't have a permanent bed for this young girl, but we did have a pull-out sofa that would have sufficed for a night or two until they could get her settled somewhere more permanent. Last May, when we had the same number of children in our home as we currently have, we made make-shift bed space for three consecutive nights for a couple of brothers who were waiting on a permanent foster home to be licensed. As soon as my reply text was sent last night, those brothers came to mind and I was ashamed that I had so quickly written off this young girl. I asked no questions about why she was there or if she would possibly be a danger to any of the children currently in my home. I just assumed she could be. See, folks...I am NOT a saint! I am just like every other mother who loves her kids and wants to protect them!
Through a curious turn of events, I actually got a chance to meet this young girl today...and immediately realized how wrong I was to write her off so quickly! While I don't know her whole story (and probably never will), I do know that what I saw today was a beautiful, kind, precious child of God who really needed someone to love on her! I asked her name and when she told me, it was a beautiful and unusual name...the kind that should be in a song! When I commented on the beauty of her name, her lips cautiously curved upward...wanting to smile, but almost as if they were afraid to do so. Her dark eyes revealed a pain I will never know and never understand...yet, my simple compliment brought a brief sparkle to them. Had you met her at church or in a store, "crazy" would never cross your mind...and I was instantly ashamed to admit to myself that it had indeed crossed mine the night before. She was so kind and gentle with my children & spoke to me with respect...a little shy, but still engaged. I desperately wanted to reach out and hug her, but restrained myself for fear of crossing some unknown boundary and causing her to feel uncomfortable.
That's the thing with foster children. They often get labeled with scary titles before you even get a chance to know the story behind those titles. Sure...there are some kids who are dangerous...usually the result of years of torture and neglect, but I have learned that they are not the majority. Most of these kids have seen and lived things we could never understand...but in almost every single one of them, there's a frightened little boy or girl buried deep inside just begging you to find them & love on them!
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