Full Circle

This is one of those foster care stories that you love to hear about!  But for a long time, I didn't know if this day would ever come!  Let me tell you about what God can do through foster care!

Twenty some-odd years ago, as a single adult with no prospects of marriage but a deep desire to be a mom, I decided to open my home to foster children.  Not long after that, I got a call about some precious children who needed a home.  There were three siblings, a 4 year old little girl and her brothers who were 2 and 8 months at the time.  They had a foster home for the baby, but needed a placement for the older two.  I eagerly agreed and that night, around 10 or 11pm, the 4 year old showed up on my doorstep with her case manager.  They had dropped off her baby brother first, the middle child was in the hospital as a result of the abuse that brought them into care.  Tears streamed down this precious girl's face and she desperately needed a mother's love and care...and yet, she could not be consoled for quite some time.  You see, that baby they had just dropped off was HER baby in her eyes, as she had been the primary caretaker in the home.  And like any mother who was forced to leave her baby behind, she was grieving.

When her 2 year old brother was released from the hospital a week or so later, he joined us and over time, we became family.  The two of them lived with me for around 2 years...at one point being sent to the other foster home so they could be with their baby brother, and then because of an incident there, all three came to live with me in my two-bedroom apartment.  It was a crazy time in my life, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything!  So many happy memories during this time of them being in my home.  Friends, birthday parties, school, and church...so many wonderful memories!

And then, one day I got the fateful call that broke my heart.  These children were being reunited with their parents.  I'm not sure if it was the state I lived in at the time or because that was the mindset back then, but I was not included in any decisions that affected these children.  No one asked me about my concerns for their safety, which I had plenty.  They had, however, previously asked me if I would be willing to adopt them if that became the plan for their future, and I readily agreed!  In my heart of hearts, these kids were (and still are!) MY kids.  And yet, I was now having to send them back to the very people who had neglected and abused them.  However, I had built a bit of a relationship with these parents and had arranged to have the kids spend one or two weekends a month with me after they were reunited.  I would drive an hour after work to the home where the kids lived with their parents, pick them up and return to my apartment.  Friday night, the kids got baths, we ordered pizza, and we watched a video I had rented for them.  Saturday we had a day of fun...and after church on Sunday, I would return them to their parents' home.  This went on for several months...and then one day, it was if they dropped off the face of the earth.  And I never heard from them again, despite my many attempts to find out how they were, until....

In the gap between losing contact and being reunited, these kids remained ever in my heart and in my thoughts & prayers.  I kept my phone number as long as I lived in Alabama in the hopes they would make contact.  And when I moved to Florida after completing my teaching degree, my heart ached as I remembered promising to take them to Florida when I finished school (and I would have, if only we hadn't lost contact).  Many times I would wake up in tears after having dreamed about them because the loss was as real as losing a child to death.  Though my husband had never met them at the time, he felt as though he knew them through my stories of their time with me.  People in my church also heard the stories and loved these kids they had never met almost as much as I did.

So, fast forward to a spring day in 2014.  I'm sitting at my computer, checking Facebook & I notice an "others" folder.  So, I check it out...and a message there changed my life.  It was just a few sentences long, but enough to know that God had granted my hearts desire.  After years of searching and longing, my sweet foster daughter had found me on Facebook...though even she wasn't sure she had found me.  Moments later, my husband walked by to see me sitting at the computer with tears pouring down my face.  With great concern on his face, he asked what was wrong, but I could not speak.  I could only point to the computer and smile through my tears.  Tears that are finding their way down my cheek even as I type this now.

Ironically, we already had a trip scheduled that would take us through the town where she and her family now lived.  Immediately, we altered our plans to include an overnight stop there.  She and her family met us at a local restaurant where I was able to finally wrap my arms around her and meet her children.  When I complemented her on how well behaved her children are, she simply said, "Well...everything I learned about being a mom, I learned from you!"  To this day, those words still bless my heart.  I would not have thought that I could have possibly impacted her life that much between the tender ages of 4 & 6...and yet, I had.  She recalled things we did together that I had forgotten, but had meant a lot to her...and I did the same for her, filling in gaps of her past that she did not know.  It was a beautiful time that ended way too soon.

Two years later, she and her husband decided they wanted to exchange wedding vows in a formal ceremony and chose to make the trip to where I live in Florida to do it...and I was able to be the mother of the bride!  As we prepared for the wedding, friends who knew of my love for my former foster daughter and had heard the stories before jumped at the chance to help out with every aspect of the wedding!  A community of Christians came together to love on someone they only knew by the stories of a friend.  My sweet girl had beautiful wedding with all the trimmings and I got to be a part of it!

That night, their six children spent the night with us and our six children at the time so they could have a honeymoon of sorts...twelve children and two adults in one house...and I was feeling so blessed!  Just before they came down, her kids were wondering what to call us.  She asked me, but I told her they could call me whatever they chose...and they chose to call me Nana - which has special meaning to me because that's what we called my precious grandmother.  They decided to call my hubby Papa.  The next morning all twelve kids and their parents had a waffle breakfast at Nana & Papa's house!  I could not be more blessed!

So...on the tough days, when sometimes I wonder if fostering is worth it, I think back on what God did through this child's life.  And then, I know every hard thing I have to do is worth it...and I remember WHY I do it.  I'm not doing it for the state, or the case workers, or even the children (though they are a large part of it)...but mostly, I'm doing it for God's glory!  I am simply being His hands and feet.  And sometimes, He blesses me beyond anything I could ever hope for or imagine and I remember my WHY.  I don't do this for my own glory (goodness knows there's not much of that in fostering).  I don't do this for the state or the fostering agencies or anyone connected with them.  I do this for God...and for HIS glory!  I do this because HE called me to it.  I do this because even when I think I can't handle even one more day with the kids in my home, HE gives me the grace to take in yet another child.  And the cycle continues...sometimes with a full circle moment like this one!