It Is Well

"When peace like a river attendeth my way, 

when sorrows like sea billows roll

whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, 

it is well, it is well, with my soul."

This has long been a favorite hymn of mine, but never has it been so applicable as it has during my fostering journey.  Foster care is filled with many ups, downs, twists, turns, tunnels, and unexpected loops that literally turn your world upside down.  To say that this journey is not for the faint of heart us an understatement indeed. But if you take the risk of joining the ride and can hold on, you'll be amazed at how it will strengthen your faith in ways you never imagined!

There are days and weeks when the fostering journey is more like a river...moving along at a predictable speed and path. The days become almost normal as you follow your normal routine and maybe you forget about that bend up ahead that culminates in a waterfall dumping into an ocean of unknown.  You are enjoying the gentle ride of the familiar until all of a sudden, the path takes an unexpected turn.  A child shares a secret previously undisclosed.  You find out a birth mom of a current foster child is nearing the end of her pregnancy...and the caseworker wants to know if you would take the sibling.  A former foster child comes back into care and they want to know if you can make room for this child...or your heart breaks because you can't.  A family member is discovered and suddenly you are no longer needed.  A birth parent thinks they will get the upper hand in their case if they falsely accuse you of abuse and an investigator shows up at your door.  A birth parent you thought you were successfully mentoring suddenly disappears without a trace.  At one point or another in my fostering journey, each of these events has happened (sometimes more than once) and the sea billows begin to roll.

But just like when Jesus calmed the raging waves in the Bible, He calms my raging emotions that feel as powerful as a hurricane.  All I have to do is ask.  If I try to make sense of all this in my own strength and understanding, I come up short every time.  But if I remember that all is well, then God calms my emotional storm and restores my peace.  There may still be things I do not understand.  There may still be things I do not like.  But my emotions are no longer raging because a peace that passes all understanding suddenly takes over my soul and once again I can say, "It is well with my soul."  Romans 8:28 reminds us that all things work together for our good.  It does not say that all things will BE good.  In fact, in John 16:33, Jesus reminds us that we will experience trouble in this world.  But the good, the bad, and the ugly will all work together to the good that God has planned for us.  The troubles we face change us and remind us that we are not the center of the universe.  Troubles and trials, if we use these opportunities correctly, will drive us to our knees seeking God's plan.  When we follow that plan, we find peace.  With that peace, we realize that all really is well.

I Lost a Twin Bed (sortof)!

I'm not gonna lie...I was a tiny bit worried about hitting my 50-pound goal this week!  Usually, when I get that close to a big goal, I blow it.  So, as I looked through my closet to see what outfit I would wear to the weekly weigh-in, I made sure to select the lightest possible combo of clothing so as not to add any unnecessary weight to the scale!

In retrospect, I realize that I did take some very real steps to ensure my success.  For the first time in forever, I actually exercised more than once in a great while (3 times in the last week, to be exact)!  But then last night, I attended a support group meeting where there was some REALLY yummy food...and yeah, I indulged just a little more than I probably should have!  And that indulgence is exactly what had me doubting myself.  But before that indulgent meal, I took my Plexus Block.  So, it's a little bit of the tools I use and a little bit of my own determination to make this time different that is getting me where I need to be!

I was asked today if I am following the WW plan exactly.  The honest answer is no...at least not 100% of the time.  It is a tool I use to keep me accountable to make healthy eating choices in addition to using the Plexus products consistently.  BUT...once a week, I totally let loose!  After I weigh in on Tuesday mornings, I give myself permission to indulge in some of the things I've been denying myself.  This is another tool I created within the WW tool because I know myself well enough to know if I try to deny myself too long, I'm going to self-sabotage and give up.  So...I have one day a week that I can sort of go crazy.  To be honest, some Tuesdays, I realize that the thing I thought I'd have after weigh-in suddenly has lost its appeal...so I skip it, knowing that if I change my mind later, I can always get it the following Tuesday.  But on Wednesday, I'm back on track for the most part.  Again, it's a guideline...not a law book!  :)

So...when I weighed in this morning, I found that not only had I reached my 50-pound goal, but I had exceeded it!  I'm now at a grand total of 51.8 pounds lost!  I added this cute little charm to my WW reward collection today and was able to celebrate with the others at my meeting.  I've still got a lot to lose, but as long as I keep moving forward and using my tools of success, I know I'll get there!  :)