Being a foster parent is sometimes a hard gig. Your family is not the norm in any shape or form (look at that...I was a poet & didn't know it! LOL!) You never know when your family dynamics will change and how those changes will affect the people you love and care for. You often have to stop and think when people ask you how many kids you have (and sometimes you say the wrong number because someone just left or just arrived). You wonder if some people are distancing themselves from you because you are fostering & for some reason they don't want to be involved in that part of your life, because something you've said or done has offended them (but for the life of you, you can't imagine what), or just because they are busy (which is probably the case, but you're often more likely to come to the conclusion that it's one of the first two reasons). Your heart breaks when the kids come (because of what they experienced that brought them to you) and when they leave (because a piece of your heart goes with them). Your calendar is filled with court dates that are often disappointing, visits with various professionals tied to your foster child's case that can sometimes be demanding, and bio family visits that sometimes bring frustrating behaviors in their wake. And the only people who really understand what you are going through are other foster parents who have been or are currently in the trenches with you! And sometimes, you just wonder if anyone really cares at all, but then God places people in your path at just the right time to remind you of how blessed you are!
And let me just tell you...I've got some great friends who REALLY blessed my socks off last night when they gave me a surprise foster parent blessing shower! I showed up for what I thought was our usual Thursday night prayer group and was led out to the back yard of my dear friend Ginny's house to a beautiful garden spread and several waiting friends. Tears welled up in my eyes as it began to dawn on me what was going on! These precious women cared enough about me and this calling God has given our family to bless me beyond measure with a shower of blessings! They had two big baskets of goodies prepared...one with necessities the children entering our home might need (toothpaste, toothbrushes, socks, tissues, bath supplies, etc.) and one filled with stuffed animals that I could send with the children leaving my home, along with a favorite scripture around its neck. There was a fun game where we guessed the prices of certain items that are always common in my home (sippy cups, tissues, bandaids, etc.)...and then those items were added to the other gift blessings coming home with me! But the thing that meant even more to me than the material items given was the genuine friendship of each of these precious ladies and the love they showed me that night! Ginny wrote a heartfelt message that she shared with the group toward the end of our evening and I had a hard time holding back the tears from the sweet words she spoke over me, descriptions of what she sees in me that I do not often see in myself, but am thankful others do! And I will treasure those sweet words she wrote forever! I am so very thankful for her friendship and the friendship of each woman who took time out of their busy schedules to be there (and still amazed they would do that for me)! Most importantly, I'm thankful for my Heavenly Father, Who knew I would need this blessing shower on that particular day (after a very disappointing day in court) and planted the idea in my sweet friend Ginny's heart even before either of us knew how much I would need it...and for her willingness to follow His leading!
If you are reading this and you know someone who is a foster parent, please do something to bless them today or in the near future! Offer to watch their kids so they can get out for a date night or attend court and/or staffings. Bring them a meal when they have a new arrival or when a long-time placement leaves. Offer to tutor a struggling student and/or share your talent with a child who might be interested in learning that particular skill. Send them a gift card to local discount stores, grocery store, and/or restaurants to help offset the expenses of purchasing items for a new placement and extra mouths to feed when they are able to go out to eat (or maybe to use on those rare date nights). Send them a card or letter sharing something positive you see in them and/or their family. Spend time with them. Send them out to do something fun with the kids while you clean their home or do their laundry. Let them know you are praying for them...or better yet, pray over them! If they have children that are not fosters, offer to do special things for them because those kids often get left out when organizations do things for the foster children. Most of these are things that people have done for my family at one time or another that have been a blessing to us and I'm sure would bless any foster parent you know! We foster parents won't often ask for these things, but they are always much appreciated when they are freely given! <3
