"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to ONE OF THE LEAST OF THESE my brothers, YOU DID IT TO ME." ~Matthew 25:34-40 ESV (capitilization added by me for emphasis)
So...when I invite a foster child who is scared, dirty, hungry, and/or thirsty into my home and I give her food, drink, clothes, a warm bed to sleep in, toys to play with, and love equal to what my own children feel, then I am doing this to Jesus! Aren't we ALL the "least of these" after all? And so...the blog is named without any further hesitation.
For those of you who don't know me, all of my children are either adopted or foster (and at least one of them was a foster child we had the privilege of adopting). I had been a foster parent many years ago when I was single and just wanted to be a mom. Then I moved and found my Prince Charming. When we got married and faced infertility issues, I knew I could not handle the emotional toll of fostering at that moment, and so we looked to private adoption to build our family. We were blessed to adopt a baby boy at birth and I even had the blessing of being in the delivery room when he was born.
Eight years later, we had started the process to become foster parents when we got a call from the agency we used to adopt our first son...his birth mom was pregnant again and wanted us to adopt the sibling. We couldn't say no...even though we had NO idea how we were going to financially afford another private adoption! But we trusted God (that's another story for another day) and He provided everything we needed...down to the last penny! Then couple years later, we went back and finished our foster care licensing and became official foster parents. We have since adopted one of our foster sons. I have been pregnant once, when my oldest was about 3 years old, but that pregnancy ended in miscarriage at about 12 weeks.
I have never taken much stock in the "once you adopt, then you'll get pregnant" rule...even though that's what people said when we got pregnant 9 years ago. That's what people always say when you adopt after facing infertility. As if adoption is a cure for infertility...a path to get what you really wanted in the first place. One of my very dear friends asked me with a genuine curiosity if I would have become a foster parent if I had been able to have biological children. And my answer to her is as true today as the day I had that conversation with her...yes, I believe I would! I do not foster because I have never given birth to children...I foster because I have a love for children and I believe that's what God has called me to do!
Sure, I feel like I've missed out on something as a woman by not being able to feel a child growing in my womb. While I did get to hear the heartbeat of our little angel baby before he left this world too soon, I did not get to feel his movements within my body. I did not get to feel his kicks. I did not get to feel the hardness as he pressed up against my belly in preparation for his birth. I did not get to experience his birth or the joy that surrounds a new mom in the hospital after the birth. No visitors bearing baby-themed cards and balloons. No meals provided by excited friends hoping to get a first glimpse of the new baby.
Even when we brought a 2-day old foster baby home from the hospital, there were no celebrations of her life. No showers for her, no meals, no excited friends visiting. She simply came home to the excitement of everyone in our home...especially her older brother. This saddens me...mostly because I feel these children deserve to be celebrated every bit as much as a biological child. Is it because these kids are often gone too soon? Perhaps. But there are no guarantees...even with biological children. I see in the news where children are born to a family and then because of SIDS or carelessness, or a mom suffering from postpartum depression or some other tragedy, these children meet Jesus before they've barely had a chance to live on this earth. None of us is promised tomorrow...so why should these children be any different?
My point is this...we may think of foster children as the "least of these" - and they are...but so are we! We are all the least of these! And when we care for others in a time of need, we are showing love to Jesus. Foster children and adopted children are no less important, loved, or desired than biological children...or at least they shouldn't be. I can not imagine (nor do I want to) what would would have happened to my 2 year old son if there hadn't been people who did not share his DNA to love him. We have a 3 year old little girl in our home right now who has lived with us longer than she has lived with the parents who gave her life...and considers us as much her family as the family she was born into. Just a few days ago, a 6 year old little girl who didn't even share my skin tone (let alone my DNA) and had only been with us just over a month clung to me in tears as she was faced with biological family members who loved her and wanted to take care of her. To her, I was more family than them. She did not care that my skin was light and hers was dark. She did not care that their skin was as dark as hers. All she knew is that she was loved every bit as much as the other kids in my home while she was there and she did not want to let that go...and quite honestly, neither did I. I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew it was best for her because she would be able to be closer to her siblings, whom she had a very close relationship with. But, I did not want to let her go. I'm not sure any mother WANTS to let her child go...no matter how well planned the separation is or when it takes place.
When I was single and just starting fostering, God gave me a verse that even though I wasn't sure I liked it, it resonated with me...and somewhat makes sense. The verse I found back then and wrote in the scrapbook I started of my foster children was from Isaiah 54:1 and said, "Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the Lord.
Now, you would think it was the "desolate woman" part I'd have a problem with...but remember, I was single when I found that verse & I was afraid that meant I'd never get married. I was sure that was a sign that I'd never have a husband - but I now know that not to be true. :)
Today, I found that same verse in The Message version, which is a paraphrase of the Bible. I think it's more fitting. Here's what it says:
"Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so! "Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations; you're going to resettle abandoned cities. Don't be afraid - you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back - you're not going to come up short..." ~Isaiah 54:1 MSG
So...even though I sometimes wish I had been given the joy of experiencing pregnancy and childbirth, I know that every child placed in my home for foster and/or adoption has been placed by God and they all are my heritage! I love them and pray for them from the moment they enter my home as if they had been born of my body. I could not possibly love any of these children more even if they shared my DNA! And because of that, I have more children than even the Duggars! LOL! ;)
If you feel God is calling you to foster or adopt, I would LOVE to have the opportunity to talk with you about it! It will be the hardest thing you'll ever love doing! <3
